Boomers- The "Sandwich Generation"

As we boomers approach late middle age, we become aware of a special challenge unique to our generation. Not only do we still care for our parents if we are fortunate to still have them with us, but we many times, also become caregivers to our children and grandchildren as well.

We often have children who, for one reason or another, have been unable to maintain their own homes, or have had to foreclose on properties or lost their mortgages, causing them to sometimes move back into their parents home just when boomers are set to embark on their ‘dream vacations’ or retirement plans. Not only does this put extreme burden on the parents finances and savings, but on their psyches as well, as they now become ‘parents’ again, and unnatural ones at that.

Housing adult children in the home entails another culture change as well as an inability of parents to not interfere or ‘stay out’ of their adult child’s personal lives. Oftentimes, adult children bring their own children into the home as well, causing a certain amount of chaos and disciplinary problems with them. What was once unacceptable behavior as boomers raised their children has now become acceptable to their Generation X children, causing added strain and emotional stress to the senior parents.

While there may be benefits to all parties concerned, such as live-at-home sitters for the adult children, transportation provided to the senior parents by their children, the focus should really be on the impact this has on seniors who have not planned on the added financial burden and un-natural progression from retirement to sudden parenting again.

While boomer parents may not feel able to turn down a needy child, great thought and discussion should be taken before anything is done. Honesty on the part of the parents and adult children should be expected, granted, and respected. Time limits should be discussed as well as respect for the elder parent’s ethics and moral behavior beliefs. Adult children should make every effort possible to not place extra financial burdens on their parents and do everything possible to make transition into other living situations as soon as possible.